I miss me.

It's a weird thing to watch yourself become someone you're not used to, and someone you don't understand. Once upon a time, I knew myself so well. If I was in a bad mood, I knew why. I was so solid in my beliefs and I was not going to waver on them. I could assert myself well and let people know exactly what I was thinking. I was quick, able to come up with fast responses when questioned. I was fun. I had fun.

I don't know who I am. I think I've stopped caring. And I know exactly when this started. It was when I moved to the States for university. I was thrown into a place where I understood nothing and the best I could do was try to cope. I'm still trying to cope.

I don't know what I believe about life anymore. Maybe it's because, as some would say, I've lived a sheltered life and haven't been able to socially flourish. Or maybe it's because I have been presented with so many different ways of believing that it has taken me so long to figure out what I believe is true and right.

I'm disappointed in myself. I've been hiding. I don't show people the real me most of the time. Maybe it's because I don't know who that is anymore.

Bottom line: I'm trying to figure me out. I'm trying to figure my beliefs out. If I'm confusing, or if you don't understand me, you're not the only one. Be patient. I'm getting there.

Mon Mec Chaud

Alors, je sort maintenant avec un gars qui est vraiment marron. Il est trop beau et chaud. Je l'aime beaucoup. :)

The Inevitable

I absolutely hate it when someone you know becomes someone you knew. I think it's one of the worst things in the world that someone you knew so well becomes someone you know nothing about. I guess everyone changes and drifting apart is inevitable, but is it necessary?

Here is the beginning of my blogging future. I don't know if this is such a great idea, because other blogging attempts I have made have semi-failed. My meager posts are floating somewhere out there in the world wide web, being read by who knows who and serving no purpose whatsoever. But since I am now making a mark on the world, or trying to at least, I'm going to try to attempt to make a mark on the web. So, here goes:

Today in church, my pastor was talking about Nicaragua and how the majority of the people there are living on one to three dollars a day. The congregation was making sounds of sadness for those people, wondering how any family could exist on so little. Okay, I understand that there is poverty and that many people can hardly make ends meet, but life outside the United States is not always about money and how much you have. In that economy, that place they are industrially, and that lifestyle, living on that much money a day is normal and doable. One dollar means so little to North Americans, because we are used to wealth and large figures. In third-world countries, that much money could mean that someone is considered wealthy. It is not right to compare what people in Nicaragua live on to what people in the United States live on. That is unreasonable.
Who knows, I could be totally wrong. This was simply a rant. I have been around poverty and I've seen it first hand in third-world countries and I know that people are surviving and they are HAPPY! I think it's the people who have the least who give the most. I think that we can all take a lesson from people who are living from day to day, and realize that money and wealth does not give happiness, and it's not always necessary for survival (though it does help).

The End. :-)